Our world is making us connected from people yet we are feeling more disconnected than ever.
There are so many friends on social media platforms yet we face issues of loneliness.
When loneliness happens, going and meeting more people or joining a club or making new friends is not the answer.
I think friendship is the most influential relationship that we can invest in and this is the only relationship that causes ripple effects in making any other bond.
As I reflected upon my own personal experiences with friendships across these years, I realized that while I’ve had so many great ones, most of those bonds have fizzled with time. Some friendships were stretched due to distance, others naturally phased out as we entered new stages in life.
I believe meaningful friendship is hard, its takes time focus sacrifice and most importantly understanding. Friendship + Intimacy is the only way where both sides feel safe and secure.
In my opinion, we should always apply Positivity, Consistency and Vulnerability.
The first requirement is positivity. When we want friendship, we want the reward, the joy. We want to feel good and this should come with kindness, care, laughter leaving us feeling fully accepted. Positivity doesn’t mean we have to be like Pollyanna, there can be times when we can still can cry on each other’s shoulders or vent and complain without fear of being judged.
The second requirement is consistency, because if we feel happy and positive with the person but don’t see them or meet them quite often then we lose the bond. Consistency is the hour logged its the history we build, its the
time we spend together, where we actually get to know each other.
The third requirement is vulnerability where we share our weakness our insecurities. Its also sharing our history, our dreams, our strengths and weaknesses. Its being able to articulate what we are feeling and ask for what we need from the other person. Because at the end of the day for us we want to feel loved and we can only feel loved if we feel known and we can only feel known if we actually share ourselves.
My learning says these are the basis of every single relationship.
A FRIEND IS NOT THE ONE WHO GOES OUT WITH YOU TO HAVE A COFFEE , A TRUE FRIEND IS THE ONE WHO CHALLENGES YOU TO GO BEYOND YOURSELF.